Announcing New Bulletproof Snake Oil with Lauric Acid!
By: Dave Asprey
Spoiler alert: This is an April Fools’ post. To learn more about the differences between coconut oil and MCT oil, read here.
People are often resistant to health advice, especially after being lied to for 50 years about the “benefits” of a low fat, high sugar diet with up to 10 servings of whole grains per day. That’s why the easiest way to stay in your comfort zone is to hide from the science, and whip out the dreaded title of “snake oil salesman.”
Most people know this is referring to a health remedy that was “debunked” by scientists in the early 20th century. But the story doesn’t end there…
What exactly is Snake Oil?
Chinese immigrant laborers working on the transcontinental railroad brought snake oil to the United States in the 1800s, and introduced it to Europeans as a cure-all for joint pain, inflammation, and other ailments. Workers would use the oil topically after a hard day’s work, often marveling at its immediate effects. This “bizarre” treatment from the far east left many medicine dealers in the Americas worried about their market share. It turns out “big pharma” has a long history of attacking the reputation of foreign remedies…
This set the stage for one American businessman, Clark Stanley, also known as “The Rattlesnake King” to come out with his own domestically produced version of this miracle potion. Because there was an unsurprising lack of Chinese water snakes in the American West, he turned to the best thing he could find: rattlesnakes.
Stanley created a stir at the 1893 World Exposition in Chicago where he cut open a live rattlesnake, boiled it, and skimmed off a layer of fat to create Stanley’s Snake Oil in front of onlookers. This enamored the public, but the problem is that rattlesnake oil contains less than a third of the vital fats that make real snake oil beneficial, plus he was a liar, and his product often didn’t even contain snake oil at all. He eventually was fined $20 for “misbranding” and violating a food and drug regulation.
After this, snake oil became a derogatory term for any fake medicinal remedy, but real snake oil is can be found across Asia even today.
Snake oil is back! (And Bulletproof)
Ever since I learned about snake oil, I’ve wanted to release this beneficial product that has been kept from the public for a century. Because Bulletproof loves producing strange foreign health products no one has ever heard of, Bulletproof Snake Oil is a natural next step.
I first came across real snake oil during my journey to Tibet (the same trip where I saw a vision on Mt. Kailash of angels showing me the recipe for Bulletproof Coffee on a papyrus scroll). The natives would use Tibetan snake oil during their preparations of Yak Butter Tea, and would massage it into their skin while socializing. When I first tried it, I was amazed at it’s healing properties. But I knew if I brought this to the West, people would think I was crazy.
After almost 10 years of putting this product on the backburner, Bulletproof Snake Oil will soon be available for sale to add to your next order of Upgraded Coffee and Brain Octane!
Benefits of Bulletproof Snake Oil
Bulletproof Snake Oil is made from the centrifuge-extracted oils of wild-harvested Chinese Water Snakes. The snakes are spun at a high velocity which isolates the most precious oils without hurting them. They are then released back into the wild on a Chinese nature reserve where they can continue to benefit the natural soil biome. This is the most environmentally sustainable approach that the Bulletproof product team has been working on diligently for months!
But it doesn’t end there! This formulation also contains Lauric Acid, which you might recognize as a dirt-cheap part of coconut oil that is marketed as a “medium-chain triglyceride” by slippery companies, even though it acts as a long-chain fat in your liver. (Note: Bulletproof XCT and Brain Octane oils are lauric acid-free because you get plenty of it when you eat coconut oil). Adding lauric acid to Bulletproof Snake Oil helps to reduce the cost of this groundbreaking product while sounding like a benefit.
Oh, and Bulletproof Snake Oil is charcoal filtered to be free of the mold toxins that plague most Asian snake oils. Skip the generic snake oil you can find at any health food store, it’s not worth the brain fog!
You can use Bulletproof Snake Oil topically for targeting acute inflammation and joint pain. Rumor has it that Oakley cover model and Bulletproof Ambassador Andy Hnilo has been known to sometimes mix it with the Alitura mask. But it doesn’t end there…it’s a great addition to your low oxalic acid kale shake!
Recipe: The Bulletproof Kale Snake Shake!
- 1 bunch steamed dino kale
- 2 tablespoons grass-fed butter
- Dash of pink himalayan salt
- 1 tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar
- 1-2 tablespoons Bulletproof Snake Oil
Blend until fully emulsified and enjoy!
Ready to add this to your daily routine?
Don’t get too excited. Happy April Fools’ Day! 😉