Quantifying Sex for Better Performance (and Relationships)

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The link between sex and your performance in life isn’t immediately obvious, but having fewer orgasms could make you a better entrepreneur, at least if you’re a man.

Recent discoveries in brain function suggest that it’s because your hypothalamus – an older part of your brain that controls your basic bodily functions – controls both sex and aggression.

By hacking your sex life, you can influence your motivation. There is a convincing case – backed up by biohacking self-experiments and lots of historical references – that women are happier and perform better when they have more orgasms, and men benefit from far fewer – but longer – orgasms.

The link between sex and aggression

Researchers used a new method of stimulating the brain using fiber optics and light-sensitive injected proteins to specifically trigger a portion of the hypothalamus in male mice. They discovered something shocking:

“[After] A flash of light, the mice transformed from Jekylls into Hydes. They rapidly attacked other mice, whether male, female or anaesthetised. They would even assail an inflated glove.

There was only one way of preventing these violent urges: sex. If the males were actually mounting a female, the bursts of light had little effect…These experiments clearly showed that the act of sex suppresses neurons in the brains of mice that trigger aggression. “

From Discover Magazine


Ok, so men are not mice. But when a man wants to “kick ass” in his next meeting, he might want to skip sex the night – or the week – before, or at least (as the scientists note) the ejaculation.

Boxing coaches and professional athletes have long known this little hack to increase performance before competition. It works for entrepreneurs too. Weight lifters even measure how ejaculation effects weight gain.  It’s even on Pubmed!

So why could having less sex, or at least ejaculating less, make you a better entrepreneur (if you’re a man anyway)? Because it will increase your aggression. Aggression isn’t something I seek to cultivate in my quest to be more Bulletproof, but as conscious humans, we can transform that added aggression into energy and productivity, just like Napoleon Hill, one of the first Bulletproof Executives, described in 1938. He wrote a whole chapter in “Think and Grow Rich” dedicated to transforming male sexual energy into productivity. He claims the sex drive is the most powerful force in man. Many men would agree. 🙂

Some psychologists call this transformation of sexual energy into productive energy “sublimation.” Where sexual energy, or in some cases other impulses, are consciously transformed into creative and productive acts that drive an individual to create, invent, build, or demonstrate greater intellect or acts of physical prowess . . . usually in favor of enhancing civilization.

Limit yourself to one half hour orgasm per month?

Taoists – some of the original biohackers – also recommend transforming sexual energy into productivity and health. Advanced practices suggest that for optimum power and energy, ejaculation about once a month is the right amount, although they encourage much more frequent sex (without ejaculation.) I’d quote this source, but it’s from an out-of-print very old book by a Czech Taoist master, and I don’t have it in my vast biohacking book collection anymore. Of course, the info is also on Wikipedia.

If you are an advanced Tantric practitioner, is possible to orgasm without ejaculation, but since orgasm and ejaculation come together (ahem) for most men, I use them interchangeably except when otherwise noted.

Those same Taoists recommend that when a man does have an orgasm with ejaculation, he should limit the length of his orgasm to only a half hour. They are talking about just the orgasm, not the entire act! Compare that to your puny 15 minutes, Nicole Daedone! 🙂 (I wrote about Nicole as a biohacker.)

Being a biohacker, I tested these theories.  They are legit. The results were the subject of my talk at the Quantified Self conference in Mountain View, CA last month. Stay tuned, the video will be posted soon!

Real world examples of success when men ejaculate less

At the recent BIL Conference, I spoke with a successful entrepreneur based in LA who runs a popular blog. He told me, “I made the most money and progressed my career the most when I was single and wasn’t ‘getting any.’”

I spoke with a NY Times best selling author about this over dinner while gathering research for this biohack. He asked that I not use his name, but he described a time when he made a deal with his wife that he would not orgasm until he made $250,000, which was a very considerable sum for his family. With that kind of motivation, he achieved the goal in 30 days.

You’ll also see my video on the topic soon. I apologize for not naming names here, but it’s just as hard to find people willing to talk about this as it is to find ones willing to talk about using smart drugs.

What to expect if you try this

For starters, we’re not talking about celibacy or turning into a monk. We’re talking about having an active sex life (ideally with someone else, just saying…) but not ejaculating during the act. This doesn’t work if you’re choosing outright celibacy.

For the average guy, the effect of less frequent orgasms during sex takes about one minute to be annoying and about one day to feel unbearable. After a few days of knuckle-biting frustration, the energy has to go somewhere, and with a little effort, you can turn it into productive energy.

The time to enter a productive zone is a few days, probably longer if you’re under 25 years old. After the initial frustration zone, your performance increases regularly for about 3 weeks then levels out and sustains as long as your self-control can last. The combination of fewer ejaculations with the Bulletproof diet is especially powerful, as a high-healthy fat diet already raises testosterone and puts you in a high energy metabolic mode.

It takes an enormous amount of discipline to do this, obviously. I failed more than a few times while learning to biohack myself to the 30 minute, 30 day goal. The good thing here is that this is one time when failure is entirely pleasant. 🙂

More orgasms make women perform better

Nearly all my writing on biohacking in this blog works for both sexes, but in this case the Taoist recommendations for women are very different because, from another source, “A woman’s body uses her orgasm to nourish her body and stimulate vital life qi. She is the receiver (yin) of her partner’s (yang) qi.”

Better yet, women increase their emotional intelligence (EQ) when they have more frequent orgasms.  And there is fantastic work from New Scientist about how female orgasm unlocks altered consciousness.

There is also John Gray’s recent work on how oxytocin, the “happy hormone” is formed in women – and orgasm is one of the ways.  The pathways are different for men, although men obviously use oxytocin too.

two legs intertwined in bed

photo by Stuart Conner

It works better when both partners are in on the game

I’ve come across two women entrepreneurs who have mentioned having massive, life-changing bursts of energy and confidence when they increased their orgasm frequency at the same time their male entrepreneurial partners decreased theirs. (I have no idea why some people entrust me with this type of info, but they do!)

Something else happens to men too – their pheromones change. Do not be surprised if your partner – and random women you meet – find you more attractive than usual. It’s biochemistry.

Male readers of Tim Ferriss’ Four Hour Body book will also find that they can enhance their performance while still practicing Nicole Daedone’s techniques from Tim’s “15-Minute Female Orgasm” chapter. There’s no reason a man shouldn’t help the woman entrepreneur in his life have a higher emotional IQ, as long as he doesn’t… finish.

I dare you to comment on this! 🙂

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By Dave Asprey

  • Jules

    This explains a lot! Thanks!!

  • EG

    About damn time you talked about this. Here’s an interesting discovery. Ive noticed some orgasms drain me more than others. Some are downright energizing. Wondered why. Looked into it and noticed that the longer the sex act and the more excited energy you feel without release the more energized I feel after I finish. Asked around and others have confirmed this. Quickies are energy drainers.

    Anyways, My income goals could use your 30 day challenge. Will report back with results.

    • smilesalot

      EG. I think there is a greater release of endorphins, and therefore ‘energy’, from a buildup of excitement. These make for the most powerful orgasms ;). I do not think that quickies are in fact the healthiest orgasms; but, I am still operating on a much lower plane after a powerful orgasm, than before it, just Raw Energy wise. I find myself finding most physical chores and responsibilities, exhausting in the days after a release, regardless of the duration of the buildup before.

  • eddie santiago

    im doing the challege ASAP!

  • Chris

    Seinfeld has long known this! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Abstinence

    • weaned

      I was thinking the same… and observed and experienced.

  • Mark

    Loved how you danced around the topic, definatly something to try.

  • Anon

    What if it happens… spontaneously… while sleeping after about a week of not doing anything intentionally?

    • Dave Asprey

      Anon, then you’re not trying hard enough! 😉 (actually nocturnal things are controllable mentally)

      • Anon

        Haha any advice on how to exercise control when sleeping?

  • Alexander T

    Really happy you posted about this, I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic over the past months. I’m a young 24 self employed guy and I’ve been experimenting with 1 weeks of no ejaculation.

    It’s really hard, especially the first 2-3 days where while working on a computer the temptation is just HUGE to touch yourself and waste time. After that it’s somehow not that big of a deal. Not sure why, but you also mention that it gets easier after a few days and it’s also how I feel.

    I haven’t abstained from ejaculation in a month or so but I’ll try it again since I promised myself October would be a big work month for me :).

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  • Zynster

    Actually, having an organism without ejaculating isn’t that hard. I’ve been doing it for 25 years. These days I would only ejaculate a few times a year. Orgasms are longer and more intense. And you tend to stay hard after.

    It’s not a good birth control method though. It makes you super fertile. I have a 6yo son who was conceived during ejaculation free sex. It only takes 1 sperm.

    • molten

      Have you done a paternity test on your son? Just sayin… ;_

      • Dave Asprey

        Lol, this is well documented in Taoist writings…

        Sent from my nobile phone. You understand….

        • Synzael

          you need to pee before sex stop the sperm from getting left in the urinary track and getting into your precum

    • Pule

      Dude I wanna knw more bout this I never tried it before but would love to n here is my email for further discussion, sound unbelivable but interesting. Emai:biometricspule@gmail.com

  • AronS

    I’m a little confused here about the recommendation since you say not to be a celibate monk. If you are a single guy, are you supposed to edge regularly and if so, how often?

    • OD

      I’ve read that edging can be as bad as ejaculating. Anyone more info?

    • Dave Asprey

      The taoists would say to do penis exercises daily one time but not necesssrily to the point of edging
      Sent from an iphone. That means it’s spelled wrong…and I’m probably lost. You understand… -Dave

      • dh

        I’m confused, is it better to not ejaculate but still experience frequent orgasms or is it better to not ejaculate and not experience orgasm but still have sex for 30days.

  • Kenneth

    Here’s a biohack from first principles:
    -Wiki says men smelling women in estrus increases testosterone.
    -Testosterone increases aggressiveness and motivation.
    -Consistent exposure is optimal.
    -Clubs select for women in estrus.
    -Go clubbing each night.
    Take gluathione and charcoal and watch you become stronger than your pals.

  • Adam

    Awesome post and I’ve just been thinking about this very topic after watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU TEDx The Porn Experiment talk and then reading some of the stories on yourbrainonporn.com.

    I’m been trying my own experiments since then with mixed results.

    “After the initial frustration zone, your performance increases regularly for about 3 weeks then levels out and sustains as long as your self-control can last. ”
    Is this what you’ve personally experienced? And the once a month ejaculation being the most effective for performance?

    I’m looking forward to the video of your presentation on this topic.

    • asdfiction


  • OD

    Great timing on the article. I have used sex as an outlet for the most of my young life, both with myself as with others. I was already going into this direction, because I have experienced myself that frequent ejaculation and even an excessive sexual urge is limiting myself in many other areas.

    I always tend to think that the morally good and the “efficient” go hand in hand. It should be no surprise that controlling your sexual urges results in certain mental and physical improvement. Basically you’re giving up long-term benefits for immediate gratification (an orgasm now). I’ve heard that men are evolution-wise wired to resort to sex and masturbation due to the massive amount of pornographic content freely available, as men have existed for reproductive purposes. Is there any evidence for this?
    Does anyone have practical suggestions for controlling your sex drive? I’ve seem to have a hard time to control myself, even though I’m sure I don’t want it.

  • Mia

    You are in line with Daniel Vitalis here:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMO5W3KZazM
    (I would love to hear an interview with him by the way. He is a bit of a bio-hacker in is own way:>)

  • Mia
  • John N

    Nikola Tesla, who slept only a few hours per night and was very productive (and brilliant), claimed that celibacy gave him extra energy.

    This is a topic that interest me as I suffer from chronic fatigue. I’d be happy so sacrifice some orgasms to get more energy. No wait, not exactly happy to, but it’s worth it if it works.

    • Theo Paine

      Tesla was a super-genius. He never married & he did admit that his chastity aided his scientific endeavors. So it appears he was sexless & he channeled his sexual energy up to his brain, resulting in many wonderful contributions to science & the world. Having said that, I would argue man can have his cake & eat it too – by having a robust sex life & limit his finishes to no more than a couple times per month. With each finish, energy is zapped & vital brain nutrients are lost. Doing this repeatedly over a period of years will take its toll on the mind/body complex (hence, viagra..lol). So by holding on to one’s sh** (as much as possible), one’s life force is being preserved & that energy can be channeled into one’s work,etc…..By learning how to have ‘dry’ orgasms, the man can have far greater staying power & potentially provide more orgasms to his mate , thereby making her a more happy & far more productive woman. That’s what I’m talking about! 🙂


  • Jacob Haskins


    The PubMed abstract says, “On the 7th day of abstinence, however, a clear peak of serum testosterone appeared, reaching 145.7% of the baseline ( P < 0.01). No regular fluctuation was observed following continuous abstinence after the peak."

    It seems that you are interpreting that to mean that testosterone reached the peak level and stayed there. Many bodybuilding websites interpret it to mean that it peaked, and then returned to baseline – resulting in no long term testosterone increase.

    Jamie Lewis of chaosandpain.blogspot.com is an advocate of the opposite approach of yours – multiple ejaculations per day. With this strategy, he is currently approaching and breaking competitive powerlifting records in the 181 lbs weight class.

    Because there can be many confounding factors for increasing testosterone levels, if you have access to the full paper and not just the abstract, can you provide any final clarity to what the authors meant and end the controversy?

    Thanks in advance.

    • Julian

      I’m not Dave, but have access to the full paper. The testosterone level basically returns to baseline after the peak on the 7th day of abstinence and stays there. The participants were then split into two groups: 1) continue abstinence for the next 7 days 2) ejaculate and then stay abstinent for the next 7 days. Group 2 had a peak on the 7th day of abstinence again whereas group 1 didn’t (14th day of abstinence). It was concluded that ejaculation triggered the testosterone peak.

      But: There was another group that had to be abstinent for at least 8 days before the experiment started. They had a small testosterone peak on 1st day after ejaculation as well as a generally slightly higher testosterone level. That was not statistically significant though due to the small number of participants.

      I’ll definitely try it out, not total abstinence but no ejaculation for as long as I can manage.

  • Filip

    The book Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson is very in-depth on this. Very much worth reading and testing out. I can confirm what Dave (and the book) are saying. The effects on performance are AWESOME!

  • I think the answer to whether sublimation is beneficial or not can be found in the extremes.

    Orgasm for 30 days straight then none for 30. Compare and contrast results.

    I’m on it.

  • SanMac888

    Cool, I guess. But how does that work for chicks?

    • Dave Asprey

      It’s easy for chicks. More orgasms are helpful for performance!

      Sent from an iphone. That means it’s spelled wrong…and I’m probably lost. You understand… -Dave

  • Two words: “Energy Karezza”. An age-old sexual practice in a similar vein as tantra. It is the practice of male sexual activity with delayed or no ejaculation. It increases the energy and decreases the stress level. My life partner and I both find this practice to be immensely satisfying. Thanks for posting the article that gives physiologic basis to this practice.

  • Nemiah

    Yeah, this one is huge on men’s forums and was my original “biohack” I went from being a 4 times a day wanker, weiging 265 pounds and sleeping in my mom’s basement to a 160 pound “normal” human being.

  • Anonymous

    Any biohacking advice on PE? I’m still ready to go after one, but if trying to avoid ejaculation altogether it’s beneficial for everyone if you can last a bit longer before you stop…

  • lou

    I think the assumption that testosterone and aggression leads to better performance in anything other than sports is false. I am always most happy, most productive, and most creative during periods where sex is plentiful.
    When it’s not, I find I’m too in my head.
    There may be specific circumstances when abstinence leads to advantages, but I think that great artists and CEOs and musicians are hardly lacking sex when they are at their most successful.

    • Ted Nugent

      I totally agree with Lou on this one … Sex always clears my head and increases
      my focus and creativity

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  • Alexander

    The Taoists really *were* the original biohackers.

    They also even recognized that eating grains was bad for you and expressed it in terms of not eating them in order to starve “The Three Worms” that could inhabit your dan tiens.

    Mad props for bringing this to people’s attention, Dave. I’ve been doing this for years ever since I read Mantak Chia’s “The Multi-Orgasmic Man”, which has a lot of good stuff in it if you can get past the fru-fru parts. It really does work.

  • Mirabai108

    Another huge benefit (pun unintentional) of mastering this technique is that sex becomes non-linear and can be prolonged as much as desired 🙂

    • Theo Paine

      Yep ! 🙂

  • AimHighFlyFightWin

    Ha,laughed so hard I had to email this to my husband who just left for Korea for 6 months! Told him no wanking off so he can pass his physical endurance test while he’s there. See, there’s always a silver lining.

  • bsrubin

    Dave told myself and a good friend about this in person a year ago – and I’ve been hoping he would share the advice. At the time I put it on a list of ‘try later’, and my friend went ahead and gave it a try. He was highly successful – reporting more energy, better sex, better orgasms when he did orgasm (he used once a week), etc. I started a week ago – already feeling more energy, better sex, and coping OK with the frustration. This is a win. I look forward to continued investigation.

  • Ryno

    Hey Dave wow, interesting stuff have noticed feeling better when abstaining at times, you def get ‘looks’ and postive responses from females. Being somewhat loving the sex stuff i found it tough to find a good enough reason to abstain, well i guess here it is!! 😀
    One question though thàt no one else has come up with and has for me been the limiting factor from me sticking to this, after a break for like a week and when I feel like testosterone is peaking and all the good stuff is happening, if I engage in coitus without ejaculation, I get blue balls…
    Something builds up down there and it freakin hurts!!! : ( should I màybe just abstain for longer? Isn’t blue balls semen passing back into the bladder cause one gets too excited? Maybe after longer my body might not expect to ejaculate and thus stop the blue balls hapning? Would love if someone could clarify and tell me of a possible solution the may have come up with cause I really want to try this but when that happens, hurts so freakin much!! Thanks

    • John C. A. Manley

      Massaging the testicles and the area around with a little (but, of course, not the penis) gets rid of the pain and tension pretty easily.

  • grywalski

    Ok zynster, how did you learn to do that?

  • Kyle Balkan

    How does this work if you happen to be a gay man? Same?

  • Amrit

    Hi Dave. This does actually work. 🙂

    My body tends to have a mind of it’s own and it kind of learns stuff I wasn’t aware was possible… Ever since I started practicing tantra 2 years ago I have been exploring sex and it’s effect on my body. And indeed do I have LOTS of more energy (been listening to the podcast Dave made at Joe Rogans a few days back, and after that I read almost all texts on all of Daves products, and then some more stuff, and before that I went through 300+ emails, and I’m actually ill and have low energy right now) 😀

    What I notice with less orgasms is that if I’m in sexual energies/sensations/feelings on a frequent basis, but not having orgasms, my energy levels skyrocket. And IF I do choose to have an orgasm but only a short orgasm, it will make my whole system go haywire, and it is NOT pleasent in any way shape or form. If however I prolong the actual orgasm, then there isn’t much of a downer after that.
    And yes, I can choose wheter or not to have an orgasm, and my body also somehow learned how to separate ejaculation from orgasm, which is kind of cool, but I have no idea how I learnt that. I seem to not loose any energy at all from just ejaculating. (With my ex I could ejaculate 3-4 times and just keep on going, easily. Tantra is fun. :D)

    Sex is an energy source. Use it, don’t ABuse it… 😉

  • Jimmy

    Any concerns re: prostate health with ejaculating once a month?

  • MikeH

    It just goes to show there’s wisdom in anecdotal evidence. My kickboxing coaches have be saying this for years. Also, Napoleon Hill #supergenius.

  • whoever

    unfortunately i think my boyfriend already knows about the male part of this. the good thing is he is starting to learn that i am a nicer person when the more orgasms i have. 🙂 our creator must have had a sense of humor to put men and women at odds in such a way.

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  • Jasmine

    Wow, ok as a female entrpreneur that’s great to learn it’s the opposite for us compared to men. I’ve heard for years about limiting sex because of doing kung fu. What’s funny is a bunch of male students felt the need to tell me this, but sensei I never did. I wonder if he knew that it would be different for women. I’m not surprised people open up to you. You obviously love to experiment ( see long great career and biohacking site I’m commenting on 🙂 ), and if the tone on here is any indication you are probably the sort of person who can be forthright without judging. Hence people tell you. Thanks for the info as always!

  • Jack117

    I don’t think Dave ever posted the video of his talk at the quantified self conference. For those of you who are interested, here it is on youtube:


    I look forward to hearing him talk more about this subject. If you’re interested in reading, watching or listening to other stuff he’s done, you can search find them in the browse section of hunch.com by searching for the tags “dave asprey”, “bulletproof executive”, “upgraded self radio” and bulletproofexeccom. By rating these items, we’ll be able to help others to find his best material without having read, watch or listen to all the stuff he’s done. You can rate the video on hunch.com here:


  • mjm old soul

    An amazing postulation made here ! Lets not have orgasms so we can be more agressive in business….

    Hmmmnnn…… O.K. The MEDICAL (versus entreprenueral) field clearly establishes that the orgasm produces chemicals in the bodies system which contirubte to an overall feeling of well being. So denying the culminating stage of sexual intimacy denies this feeling.

    And you are trying to conivince me that by not ejaculating (and enjoying the undeniable fruits of this heavenly remarkable event !) I will be better in my ‘agressive male’ endeavors ? Maybe true my friend.

    But I would rather come every day and learn to be a more agressive businessman through the cerebral route of learning, practice and skill !!!

    • Dave Asprey

      It’s not about being aggressive. It’s about being more resilient. SEX provides those same chemicals; ejaculation is not necessary. As noted, not ejaculating leads to you having MORE sex, not less.

  • James

    Won’t most women consider you a dud if you are unable to ejaculate during sex? I have not tried this yet…but when a man ejaculates during sex it usually symbolizes the end of the sex session. For my entire life I have associated a male orgasm with ejaculation. If a male ejaculation does not occur how do you know when to stop? Do you just roll off and say “Im done”? (I know this sounds like a stupid question, but I would like to try this. At the same time, however, I would like to know how to avoid the awkwardness that might arise as a result of not ejaculating)

    • madona

      In trusted relationships there is no problem. You can introduce it as a taoist practice. Bring her on board by complementing it with taoist play for her. You can deny her orgasm on purpose as an experiment too, but seems to work better if she orgasms often, mix it up. You can make her go crazy if done right.

      Read the enlightened sex manual by david deida

    • fruitcake

      Actually, most women would consider you a stud not a dud, as the longer you can go without ejaculating, the more orgasms you can give her.
      I used to feel I was being selfish as I usually have 4 or 5 climaxes to my husband’s one. Now I see we’ve been doing it right all these years (though we knew that intuitively of course)

      • Theo Paine

        Now that is what I’m talking about !! Win-Win. 🙂

    • Theo Paine

      Read Mantak Chia’s book on Male Orgasms. He is a Taoist Master. The answers u seek are therein.

  • madona

    This topic is very taboo yet very powerful. Like in Think and Grow Rich. The secret of sexual transmutation. Aligning your desire with your path in life and your purpose as a man. Like considering that I will get the pussy I want. Or rather as David Deida says: your sexual experience must serve your purpose. Learning taoist lovemaking with your partner is something beautiful that is mostly reserved as a gift of deeper relationships.

    It all goes tied in with our desire to make her free by giving her release and craving release ourselves.

    Non-ejaculation is difficult! Frecuent ejaculation is an addiction. Using sex as a drug anyone?

    The mistery of sexual transmutation. Having a muse, feminie inspiration is key. The reptile in us has to be onboard for the mission. 😉

    More comments please

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  • Gus

    Great post. Can’t wait to try it out.

    I’ve always been interested in non-ejaculation orgasm. I was wondering if Dave or anyone knowledgeable on the matter could help to point me in the right direction. I’ve been looking for sources that teach the process but am having trouble finding good ones.


  • Alex I

    The pheromones making women more attracted to you is all I needed to hear, the increase in productivity is just a plus. I’m definitely going to implement this into my life… Starting tomorrow….

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  • Guest

    Dave, for the average guy who is still learning how to control is ejaculation, can u recommend any resources that really help you find your control? And what sort of practices did you find work the best? ie mediation, exercises etc..

    • Garrett

      Read the book “Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow” 🙂 Best resource for what you’re looking for.

    • The multi-orgasmic man is all you’ll need!

  • steve

    Very interesting… I am going to go a little 50 shades of grey here for a second, I hope I am not being too “out there”.

    In BDSM Circles, it also seems like alpha type males (entrepreneurial/executive/politician) are typically in a power exchange where their female counterparts actually forcibly deny orgasm over a period of time (sometimes a month or so). Interestingly, most of those men report having a MUCH higher drive to succeed, more focus, and better quality of life when they are not in control of sexual release, but are stimulated consistently.

    Again, I hope this was not too wacky, if so, i apologize.

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  • wizard

    I am a 46 year old man and learned about the Taoist ways at 29 and have practiced ever since ejaculating averaging twice per month. Once you learn how to do it properly and do it I believe it is impossible to go back. I have often said it is the best secret I know and certainly the women I have been with like it. Sometimes they have to get used to it but once that passes they all like it better as sex can last so much longer and can happen so much more often. It keeps the passion in a long term relationship. I am also a magician and sex without ejaculation is a great way to raise my energy confidence and charisma for shows.

    I also like smart drugs (modafinil) and taking it most days for past 9 months since I found out about this and I am happy to talk about it.

    • Theo Paine

      Curious – why do u take modafinil? What does it do for u? Are there not natural herbal/homeopathic alternatives to that? What about side effects?

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  • Roxana Dora

    Good points! I notice most comments come from guys, but here’s a girl’s reply. Whenever I get mean and bitchy and irritated, my husband always says ‘oh you need an orgasm’ (usually minimum of 2, only 1 makes me even more bitchy haha) and I deny it every time (my mind is convinced I really don’t for some reason) and yet it works like a charm every time. Afterwards I become happy, focused and lovable.

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  • Lotus

    We have been doing the taoist sexuality practices for a few years now (Mantak Chia has lots of good books about it, and Diana Richardson for the ladies) and it does rock. My husband is able to separate orgasm from ejaculation and we have experienced lots of benefits in terms of the depth of joy, love and awesomness when we make love. However I have a question – will a baby conceived from a man who does not ejaculate regularly be healthy? Would the sperm be ‘old’? and is the baby therefore more likely to be a girl? TIA

  • Amy Luna Manderino

    I’ve been doing research on how “sex” articles are overwhelmingly illustrated with an eroticized image of a female body, and usually only a body part, not a whole woman. Your article follows this unfortunate trend (red fishnet legs). Men’s sex lives will improve when we also accept their bodies as sensual and erotic, and women’s sex lives will improve when we see women as whole people and not erotic body parts. May I suggest that you also consider using a sexy picture of an erotic man? If that sounds too threatening to your audience…well…that kind of tells you how sex is broken for men…

    • kevin

      interesting how the insecure go on with this crap. research? try looking at every tv ad, etc. men are visually driven. why? because certain body parts are stimulating to us. period. why is it the insecure feminists think that it has anything to do with “how we see women.” why would finding a nice pair of legs mean that I cannot see an entire woman and appreciate her? why are you bothering to research such crap anyway? what motivates you? changing men into women? I think you need to take a look at yourself and your motivations for posting such drivel as you are not male and have no idea what you are talking about. I love and respect women. I also find a great photo of a sexy pair of legs pleasant to look at and relevant to the topic at hand. only a women bent on the continued emasculation of men, would suggest posting a mans photo on an article aimed at men and criticize the article photo (which works) instead of looking at its excellent content. be well. peace.

      • StephyTheGreat

        The article is great, but I see what Amy means, and it doesn’t reflect her insecurity or anything that aims to emasculate men. She also didnt say anything negative about the article itself, only its choice of image.

        I didnt think much of the pic myself except that after reading the article, I felt it didnt fit or wasnt the best match, so I have to agree with Amy.

        The article is unisex with information for men and women. So why not use a sexual image that appeals to men and women? Or one that is generally sexually stimulating? Why opt for a stereotypical generic image directed towards men? And women who like women, of course.

        Also, she can research whatever she wants. Sociology and/or the effects of different imagery on the mind and subconscious is interesting as hell and definitely not crap.

        • James

          I agree with StephyTheGreats comment except the article is aimed aten slightly more than woman primarily because women naturally wouldnt need this advice as much as men, which would render the unisex point not quite as valid and gives credence to a more male oriented picture, how many more men will stumble across this article than women? Many more I would envisage

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  • Tyler

    Great post. I have one question that perhaps someone here, including dave, may be able to answer. Dave said that your body produces a lot of pharamones when you don’t ejaculate and that has a big effect on women around you.

    What if it’s the other way around too, that by having regular orgasms you also are transmitting a powerful bodily chemical to women around you that creates more attraction…

    In the end, I’m going to try this 30 day challenge out for sure, but first I’m going to work my way up to up by following the tantric theory of dividing my age and hitting the peak number of days (4) without orgasm to maintain health.

    Any thoughts, comments or observations on my question would be great 🙂

    • wojcio

      It would be very logical to women to date someone who didn’t have an orgasm recently. Just think about it… Like you are searching a relationship with a woman, but you know she had many orgasms the day before you met her. Would you be attracted?

  • Jerry

    Can some food or exercise really make your male organ bigger?
    I mean I would like to have bigger size flaccid time.

    Bigger size of male organ gives us confidence too.

  • Diabolical

    Interesting to say the least

  • Hunter

    Hey Dave, how do you achieve the orgasm without ejaculation? Do you have a post about it or any links to sources where I can learn it?

  • Claire

    I am a female in my mid 20’s and I have always suspected that an abundance of orgasm is good for the body, the mind and the soul. I have always felt so much better, energized, and performed better after having multiple orgasms. However I have some concerns regarding the male section of this article. I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade here but I was wondering if this works only on very committed and faithful partners who trust each other 100% and are not in a long distance relationship because I have noticed that the “alpha type males” (i.e. entrepreneurs, politicians, etc…) are the ones who are most likely to cheat on their significant other and think it is the norm and one of the perks of being powerful and successful. Also while business deals are made on the golf course in the US, business deals in Asia are often brokered after a few nights partying and being treated to nice escorts. Thus, I reckon that if all that sexual pent up energy is not directed properly towards creative or business ventures, it might lead to chaos considering that all that aggression and frustration together with all the extra attention from other females (what with the change in pheromones), might make a lesser man who does not have that much discipline just crack and give in to temptation and cheat. How would this be implemented if your significant other goes abroad on a few months “business trip” where you can’t have sex and he is not benefiting from the happy and bonding love hormone, oxytocin that he would otherwise get while having an orgasm with you? Any thoughts?

  • PrismBased

    What if the female doesn’t have a partner? Is masturbation as effective?

  • EtienneJ

    Damn good post!

  • Michael

    Hang on… “he should limit the length of his orgasm to only a half hour”? “Only half an hour”? Isn’t the typical male orgasm about 30 SECONDS? Is anyone really orgasming so long that they need to control themselves from orgasming longer than 30 minutes straight?? I’m surprised that this wasn’t mentioned in the article and there were no comments on this. Please elaborate on this, I’ve never heard of such a thing.

    • Kat

      Yes, would love someone to explain this to me as well. i too, am SO CONFUSED!

    • The typical male orgasm is actually 5-10 seconds.
      When you become a “multi orgamic man” you can experience different kinds of orgasms.
      Some of them are physical, intense, pleasurable, while others are more subtle, emotional, or even mental as in a higher level of consciousness.

      Once you start practicing this, you will be surprised how deep the rabbit hole goes, and how many different kinds and states of pleasure you could experience.

      Does this help ?

  • smilesalot

    None the less, I’m here to review dave’s video and motivate to keep my semen retained! 🙂

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  • Aditya Chouhan


    It’s A very nice post.
    In Fact I Use Ayurveda & Natural Medicine and This Way Is Best way To
    Enhance Your Sexual Power. Because There is No
    side Effect..

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  • Good stuff. Those Taoist masters, man… they got it down.

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  • renton

    What would be the guideline for a single guy?
    I am asking since classic “nofap” claims not even touching penis for a month … should then a single guy rather use Fleshlight often (for example) and get hard, but always quit before actual ejaculation? Should that be better then not touching anything?

  • jordyecruzp

    Dare, completed

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  • Sharon O’Neill

    No way. My husband is 42. No little blue pill required. In fact, if you need a little blue pill I suggest a complete cardiovascular work up. Erectile deficiency precedes or coincides with heart disease.